Here’s a fun icebreaker: if you were a business, what would you name yourself?
Not like, if you were to start a business, like that Mexican/soul-food fusion food truck you’ve been dreaming about opening ever since you saw the movie Chef.
I mean if you, as an individual, got to brand yourself with a business name instead of a normal human being name, what would you name yourself?
My brief thought experiment with this question got me googling animal personalities, translating various words into Yiddish, and reading up on the Apollo Lunar Module—I’ll give you a prize if you figure out how those all relate. The point is, the opportunities for self-branding were endless. I had to cut myself off.
If I were naming myself as a law firm, on the other hand, it would have been more boring than watching paint dry.
Mind-Numbing Names
Have you ever wondered why almost every law firm is just a list of people’s names? While most businesses get unlimited leeway—choosing names that describe their product, personality, or mission—or even something completely irrelevant—law firms are subject to a host of restrictions.
The main rule is that a firm name can’t be false or misleading. That alone gets lawyers scared to decide between “& Associates,” “Law Group,” or “Law Offices Of.” And if you want to step out of the boring box, you’ve got even more to worry about. To be able to use a trade name, a lot of states still require you to put at least one attorney’s actual name in there with it. Your initials don’t even count.
A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet Could Make Business Sweeter
According to a business-naming guide by Fortune, naming your company “may be the most important decision you make,” having a “tremendous impact” on how customers view you. Their name rules include “unique and unforgettable,” “easily spelled,” “easy to pronounce and remember,” and “simple.” They follow the mantra “the shorter in length, the better,” and even recommend limiting it to two syllables.
Law firms have a hard time following those rules. Though there has been a trend toward shortening law firm names, it would take a legal spelling change to make certain partners’ names easily spelled or pronounced—I’m looking at you, Chamberlain Hrdlicka.
To get real branding benefits, some partners would have to change their names altogether. Business Insider cites a number of scientific studies that reveal psychological relationships relationship between your name and how people perceive you. People with common names are more likely to get hired. People with easy-to-pronounce names are considered more likable. There are even benefits to names that are closer to the beginning of the alphabet.
Beating Us Before the Game’s Started
The biggest issue I take with this name game is that a firm’s name rarely gives any insight into who they are—or, more importantly, what they actually do. It’s nearly impossible to stand out when every name is a list of names, and none of them tell a client anything about you. Sure, you can stick it in your tagline, but how far does that really get you? Maybe I want to name my firm after a leopard because I’m quiet, strategic, and strong—not after a fish, like Gillian Fishman would force me to do (thank you, parents).
This might have been a non-issue back in the day, when law firms were only competing with each other and associates walked to and from their offices barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways. These days, not only are firms competing with alternative legal service providers, but they’ve also gotta stack up next to innovative legal application startups. And those guys have the advantage of creative, punchy, cool names—an advantage that could win the game before it starts.
The legal profession is simply behind in branding innovation, and firm names are just the tip of the iceberg. Firms tend to be resistant to marketing movements like digital-first branding and modern website design trends. They’re even more resistant to capitalizing on the millennials in their workforce and, more importantly, as their present and future clients. The competition has got law firms beat in those categories, too.
It’s time to look to the future, put on the gloves, and get in the ring with a whole new category of competitors. There are plenty of aspects of branding to get up to speed on that don’t violate professional ethics. Adding name control to the list could go a long way in allowing law firms to create a complete brand picture.
Which sounds better, Axiom Law or Ziffren, Brittenham, Branca, Fischer, Gilbert-Lurie, Stiffelman, Cook, Johnson, Lande & Wolf? More importantly, which one will you remember?
Robot Lawyer 